Her: Be careful! Get away from there. What if it's that panther!!!
Me: So, what do you think God looks like anyway?
Her: He's big and wears gray shorts with holes in them. He's kinda bald on top with hair on the sides. And has tattoos all over his face. He also smokes a pipe and has a hatchet.
(Apparently she's getting God mixed up with Quequeg from Moby Dick.)
Me: Look - the driveway workers are here. Wait a second... they're eating lunch and lying around on our lawn. What are they doing?!
Her: Maybe they just came by for lunch. That's a nice shady spot they have.
