Boob Lights

I saw some swanky HGTV design program where a pregnant designer and her fancy male sidekick balked at installing boob lights. You know what these things are, right? The first time I saw one I shielded my child's eyes. Did you? Anyhow, this stupid designer was dumbfounded that people would actually buy these things.



Dear swanky and vacuous designers,
Do you want to know why people buy boob lights? Because they are $13 for a 2-pack at Home Depot and normal people who PAY THEIR OWN BILLS and have children don't have time to comb through thousands of lamps at second hand stores for $200 lights that they will have to repaint anyhow! Also, it's a ceiling lamp that you will only turn on 5 times a year and that no one is EVER even going to notice, much less YOU. Also, did I mention it's a ceiling lamp? If you think you will lose sleep about having a boob light you probably need to get out and do some volunteer work, pronto!

By the way, my husband is credited with installing these. And I am appreciative. Goodbye for now. The boobs are currently off.